By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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