i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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