I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
