I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
