Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
