Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm really into asian looking animals
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
