You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
