there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
