I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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