she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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