so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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