And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
