No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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