I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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