Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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