i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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