i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
