omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
