please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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