Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
