GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
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