did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
