Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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