He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
