She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
