There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
