So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
