no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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