Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
