just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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