you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Shame is for Republicans.
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