Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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