my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
this boner is exhausting
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
