don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
