Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
