my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
