hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
