I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
