how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
