so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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