Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
