her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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