dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I still have a little drunk in my system
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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