So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My vagina just clenched in fear
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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