So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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