the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think your dad took our porno
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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