Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
