im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
