Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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