so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
