We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
