I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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