The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
