who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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